For me, growing a baby has been by far the craziest "adventure" to date. It has both physically and mentally floored me throughout the process, but in hindsight has brought me incredible joy. "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." - Helen Keller
I guess this story has that pandemic thing that's been in the news the past 2 years to blame for. COVID has definitely brought its fair share of moving pieces, a bit like an ongoing game of chess. Many people with both short and long term plans scrapped or rescheduled at some point, and nothing quite played out like we had thought. Daily tasks ended up in the maelstrom of implemented COVID rules. In the grand scheme of things, we've all done reasonably well; adjusted our expectations, counted our fortunate stars, and have just gotten on with the good ol' game of life. In the depths of New Zealand COVID lockdown games, Eliot started his own business in Wānaka and now employs some lovely humans. As a whole, it's been a tough grind; saying that, an enjoyable part of the process has been discovering the wider community of great small business owners. I have remained in mom mode and CEO to Echo's social schedule, which can be quite busy - kids these days! Most years, Eliot and I have challenged ourselves with at least one good athletic race per year, but the ongoing bout of pesky cancellations had definitely put a damper on those goals. Alas, there was only one thing to do; and that dear reader, brings me to how it started...having another baby tale.
"Fancy a merger on another baby?" I asked. "Sure," Eliot replied. International travel was looking like a giant pain in the arse with all the COVID rules and regulations. Why not have another baby?! It was now, or we were putting a cap on adding to the family of Es. I can safely say that the two best things about this pregnancy were the moonlight tryst and the final arrival of baby into this world! Everything from 6 weeks on was absolutely shite, to be blunt. Why on earth women want to do this baby thing multiple times is beyond my procreation comprehension. I thought I had it tough with the first go round, but the second round totally floored me. Perhaps running around after a 3 year old had a part in it, I don't know. I do know that every day for 32 weeks, I looked forward to the following day; one less day on the hideous horse of pregnancy. By the way, I love horses! If you are planning on having a baby, I forewarn you, my tale will not sell you on the process. I don't want to come across as an ungrateful woman; I have been fortunate to bring two children into this world with zero complications, and I have friends who have been faced with challenges that come with conceiving. It can be a heart-aching endeavor, both on an emotional and financial level, depending on what one is faced with. No matter the process, it's not the most enjoyable experience...no matter what the wave of social media #hashtags might lead you to think. The road to pregnancy and childbirth can be a fucking bitch and that's why women are badasses! The post-natal side of things is a whole new chapter; don't be fooled by their cuteness, as it's hard looking after a tiny human that relies on you 24/7 for at least, 1, 3, maybe 18 years. For those who may be the curious sort, if you need a refresher on my first birthing adventure, then have a look back at my tale on that here: https://ethelmmurphy.blogspot.com/2019/10/the-best-sandwich-of-my-life-sneaky.html
"Fancy a merger on another baby?" I asked. "Sure," Eliot replied. International travel was looking like a giant pain in the arse with all the COVID rules and regulations. Why not have another baby?! It was now, or we were putting a cap on adding to the family of Es. I can safely say that the two best things about this pregnancy were the moonlight tryst and the final arrival of baby into this world! Everything from 6 weeks on was absolutely shite, to be blunt. Why on earth women want to do this baby thing multiple times is beyond my procreation comprehension. I thought I had it tough with the first go round, but the second round totally floored me. Perhaps running around after a 3 year old had a part in it, I don't know. I do know that every day for 32 weeks, I looked forward to the following day; one less day on the hideous horse of pregnancy. By the way, I love horses! If you are planning on having a baby, I forewarn you, my tale will not sell you on the process. I don't want to come across as an ungrateful woman; I have been fortunate to bring two children into this world with zero complications, and I have friends who have been faced with challenges that come with conceiving. It can be a heart-aching endeavor, both on an emotional and financial level, depending on what one is faced with. No matter the process, it's not the most enjoyable experience...no matter what the wave of social media #hashtags might lead you to think. The road to pregnancy and childbirth can be a fucking bitch and that's why women are badasses! The post-natal side of things is a whole new chapter; don't be fooled by their cuteness, as it's hard looking after a tiny human that relies on you 24/7 for at least, 1, 3, maybe 18 years. For those who may be the curious sort, if you need a refresher on my first birthing adventure, then have a look back at my tale on that here: https://ethelmmurphy.blogspot.com/2019/10/the-best-sandwich-of-my-life-sneaky.html
Yes, babies are cute and it can be a bumpy ride along the way before your slippery nugget actually arrives. With this second pregnancy, these were my symptoms in no particular order: dry mouth with an underlying taste of nothing in particular; perhaps chalky desert dust if I was to actually compare it to something, just bland. No food group(s) EVER made it to the enjoyable stage - not even chocolate ice cream or a good ol' fashioned donut! Honestly, food was just a means to survive the 9 months, the only bonus being it seemed to stay down after the 20-week mark. Exercise, which is a big part of my life, was a struggle on a daily basis and soon I was down to perhaps 3 days a week of an easy walk, an extremely slow swim, or an even slower bike ride. The once a week bike ride stopped at the 7 month mark thanks to some brutal pelvic pain. All the aches and pain came and stayed for the entire gestation. I know I probably had it easier than many women on the pregnancy train, but there are definitely things that you don't expect and the greater World Wide Web doesn't seem to inform you of without some serious online digging. Painful leg and foot cramps in the middle of the night were so wretched that I had to get up and walk around to ease out the cramps. Throw in a dollop of acid reflux and heartburn so bad that if you could sleep standing up, you probably would. No nose bleeds on this endeavor but the pelvic pain and shortness of breath were at the forefront. My feet ached like I had run a marathon every day, and as time went by, the constant need to pee took over my daily and nightly life. Sleepless nights became so disrupted that Eliot took himself up to our loft crash pad for the remainder of my pregnancy; in fact, he's still there. Someone in the household has to sleep through the night! He reassures me on a daily basis that the Irish are built for suffering, albeit, the Irish have come a long way from the suffering of famine times!
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| Mediating through the sporadic suffering |
Our second little nugget entered into society on her own terms, one week early and at home. In fairness, she did give me a heads up 24 hours before, after I managed a pool swim. Little did I know it would be my last round of flip turns while pregnant. I had lower back pain, which I ignored, and got on with my daily tasks. I even popped into my favourite cafe and jokingly asked for a labour chai latte! That evening, cramps started to develop but I kinda ignored those too. Surely this was my body preparing itself for the due date I had in my calendar...nope, this was the baby making her exit. By 11pm, I started to howl incessantly like a stag during the roar. By midnight I was kneeling on the floor, on the phone to my midwife Vanessa, telling her we were going to load up into the car and make our way to the birthing unit in Alexandra. The trip to Alexandra was a 45 minute drive. I was looking forward to having 2 days of bed & breakfast and being looked after by the wonderful staff at the baby dispatch center, which sounded like the holiday that I desperately needed! Eliot plucked Echo out of her bed while in her dreamy state and handed her over to our wonderful neighbours. By the time he returned to shove me into the car, he found me naked in the bathroom with some liquid chaos on the floor - my waters had broken. I was doing my very best to meditate my way through the hideous contractions, which had ramped up 100% within 20 minutes. Eliot rushed to grab all the clean towels from the bathroom and laundry room, while I plonked myself at the end of the bed - wailing like a banshee. I somehow dialled Vanessa again, uttered something mid howl, that the car trip was off the cards due the rising cost in fuel! Ok, slight hyperbole, because the thoughts of being in a car with strong contractions seemed ridiculous due to my expanding lady garden and I was not keen on having my bundle dispatched somewhere in the depths of darkness on the side of the road! Maybe I was ambivalent about having ''side of the road'' on a birth certificate.
Wailing proceeded, and Eliot rushed to get the camera and take a few shots because the planned photo shoot at Alexandra was not going to happen! He made his way around my back and uttered "oh, holy shit, there's a head starting to appear.'' Being pretty incoherent at this stage, I howled something about making a bigger push on the tiny human exiting my uterus. There was no time to Google "how to deliver a baby!" He rolled his sleeves up, held the exiting head, all while I gripped the edge of the bed with the intensity of a cat pulling itself out of a swimming pool and gave another push - this nugget was about to enter life outside the womb. Fortunately, human instinct kicked in, providing me with some ample adrenaline; the rush saved my bacon yet again. Eliot caught the tiny slippery human, and did well not to "drop the baby," 10 stars for Eliot and I owe him a new watch strap! Utter exhilaration swept my entire body, and I gleefully announced that I was never doing this again. Within the space of 10 minutes; all 3 midwives that had received the baby bat signal showed up with their bag of tricks; mainly hazmat cleaning gear. They declared Eliot an unofficial midwife of Central Otago. While I lay naked and half wrapped in a towel, we waited for my body to say goodbye to that other vital organ, the placenta. I had instantly lost 6kg in 20 minutes and without the aid of liposuction! The midwife super crew of Vanessa, Tegan 1 and Tegan 2 were absolute legends; a swift clean of all messes that were on the floor had vanished, thank goodness for concrete floors! Midwives are the real fairy godmothers: they're on call 24/7 and definitely don't get compensated enough for their dedication. Within 2 hours, they had taken all their baby measurements, made notes, drunk cups of tea, and departed back to their homes by 4am.
Wailing proceeded, and Eliot rushed to get the camera and take a few shots because the planned photo shoot at Alexandra was not going to happen! He made his way around my back and uttered "oh, holy shit, there's a head starting to appear.'' Being pretty incoherent at this stage, I howled something about making a bigger push on the tiny human exiting my uterus. There was no time to Google "how to deliver a baby!" He rolled his sleeves up, held the exiting head, all while I gripped the edge of the bed with the intensity of a cat pulling itself out of a swimming pool and gave another push - this nugget was about to enter life outside the womb. Fortunately, human instinct kicked in, providing me with some ample adrenaline; the rush saved my bacon yet again. Eliot caught the tiny slippery human, and did well not to "drop the baby," 10 stars for Eliot and I owe him a new watch strap! Utter exhilaration swept my entire body, and I gleefully announced that I was never doing this again. Within the space of 10 minutes; all 3 midwives that had received the baby bat signal showed up with their bag of tricks; mainly hazmat cleaning gear. They declared Eliot an unofficial midwife of Central Otago. While I lay naked and half wrapped in a towel, we waited for my body to say goodbye to that other vital organ, the placenta. I had instantly lost 6kg in 20 minutes and without the aid of liposuction! The midwife super crew of Vanessa, Tegan 1 and Tegan 2 were absolute legends; a swift clean of all messes that were on the floor had vanished, thank goodness for concrete floors! Midwives are the real fairy godmothers: they're on call 24/7 and definitely don't get compensated enough for their dedication. Within 2 hours, they had taken all their baby measurements, made notes, drunk cups of tea, and departed back to their homes by 4am.
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| Where are all the towels?! |
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| Placenta makes its way to the outside world |
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| 3 bags of sugar and then some |
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| It's OK, little velociraptor |
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| Midwives assembly |
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| Introducing the new family member to my Irish clan |
Eliot and I joked about how we had saved $30 on fuel but were about to use that money on the mega load of laundry that had to be done! As I came down off my birthing high, the postpartum pain started to kick in. Birth is raw and unfiltered and the female body is truly an incredible system. With a swollen lady garden and inflated breasts on the verge of needing their own ZIP code, the realisation hit me that life with two tiny humans to care for would be a new adventure. How hard could it be - humans have being doing this for eons. This was not my first baby rodeo but definitely my last.
